The More you Try to Control Something, the More it Controls You.
There was a moment early in my career when a team member said something to me that shifted everything:
“What you say and how you act are two different things. Are you sure you really want me to own this?” - ouch!
I had asked them to take full responsibility for a project, but my actions weren’t backing up my words. I was scared to let go of control. That moment stayed with me, and over the years, I’ve come to understand that leading with control isn’t leadership at all.
It’s fear.
As leaders, it’s easy to fall into the trap of micromanaging. We get caught up in wanting things done a certain way, on our timeline, and with minimal mistakes. But the reality is that micromanaging only holds us, and our teams, back.
So, how can we stop? How do we shift from a place of control to one of trust and empowerment?
Acknowledge the Fear The first step is always awareness. The need to micromanage often stems from fear - fear of failure, fear of mistakes, fear that if things aren’t done your way, they won’t be done “right.” It’s natural to feel this way, but it’s also important to acknowledge that this fear is limiting you as a leader. Once you acknowledge it, you can begin to move beyond it.
Shift from Control to Trust Trust is the foundation of effective leadership. When you trust your team, you empower them. When you hold on too tightly, you rob them of the chance to grow, make decisions, and step up. Letting go of control isn’t about being hands-off; it’s about creating a space where your team feels confident to take ownership and make their own decisions. It’s about giving them the freedom to fail and learn from those failures, knowing you’ve got their back.
Start Small and Build Letting go doesn’t mean relinquishing all control at once. Start with smaller tasks or projects. Gradually give your people more responsibility and see how they handle it. Offer guidance and support when needed, but step back and let them take the lead. Celebrate their successes and provide feedback when things don’t go as planned - but always remember that growth happens outside of your comfort zone, both for you and for them.
Develop a Growth Mindset A key to letting go of control is developing a growth mindset - not just for yourself, but for your entire team. When you approach challenges as opportunities to learn, rather than problems to be solved, the need for control diminishes. Grow an environment where mistakes are seen as stepping stones toward improvement. Encourage curiosity, creativity, and innovation, and remind your team that you trust them to find their own solutions.
Reflect on Your Leadership Style How do you show up as a leader? Are you a leader who empowers others, or one who feels the need to dictate every decision? Take time to reflect on your leadership style and ask yourself if it’s serving both you and your team. If you notice areas where you tend to micromanage, make a conscious effort to shift your approach. It’s a journey, and the more you reflect, the more you’ll see where you can let go and lead with trust.
Micromanagement isn’t about being thorough or detail-oriented - it’s about the belief that you have to do everything yourself, or that others can’t handle it. But as I learned from that conversation with my team member years ago, leadership is about letting go, trusting others, and creating an environment where everyone feels empowered to do their best work.
Leadership isn’t about control. It’s about trust, growth, and the ability to step back and allow others to shine.
So ask yourself - are you ready to let go and see what happens when you bet on yourself and others?
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash
