The Reality of a Vulnerability Hangover.

I had an off day a couple of weeks ago when I was a guest on a podcast. I’ve been on a few now, so it wasn’t my first rodeo. But this one felt different. The conversation turned more personal than professional - I didn’t talk much about coaching or my work. I spoke more as me.

It felt real. Honest.
But the day after, I felt exposed and vulnerable in a way I hadn’t anticipated. I found myself questioning everything from the content of the conversation to how I came across.

My thoughts ran in circles:
“Did I say too much?”
“Was I clear enough?”
“Did I sound like I knew what I was doing?”
“Am I good enough to even be on a podcast?”

It was one of those days where your confidence takes a hit, and you feel mentally drained. You don’t quite feel like yourself, but you also don’t have the energy to figure out why. And on top of all that, there’s the nagging sense that you should be doing better, that you shouldn’t feel this way at all.

What Might Be Going On

Off days rarely come out of nowhere. They’re usually a sign that something’s been stirred up under the surface.

For me, a lot of it comes down to vulnerability. When we share parts of ourselves that we typically keep hidden away - whether that’s our personal story, struggles, or even just showing up in a more authentic way - it can trigger a kind of emotional hangover. It’s a weird mixture of feeling lighter because you’ve been honest, but also, Oh no, what did I just do?

Another factor is disconnection from your professional self. It’s easy to feel more grounded in our “work selves,” the person we’ve created through years of learning, experience, and success. But when you step outside that box, it’s unsettling. You start to wonder: What part of me is professional? What part is personal? Where does one end and the other begin?

And of course, sometimes, off days are just a result of being stretched too thin. Maybe you're tired, emotionally taxed, or have had too much input in too short a time. When you give a lot of yourself, it’s natural for the energy to dip at some point. It's part of the rhythm.

How I Recovered (and What Helped Me)

In the past, I’d have tried to ignore or push through the off day. I would have buried myself in work or overthought my way out of it. But lately, I’m realising that recovery is less about doing and more about being.

Here’s how I tried to recover (and what I’ve learned):

1. I named it.
   The moment I acknowledged, “This is just an off day,” I felt a huge weight lift off me. Naming it without judgement allows you to take the pressure off fixing the feeling. It’s normal to have ups and downs. It doesn’t mean you’re failing. It’s just part of the process.

2. I softened the story I was telling myself.
   Instead of spiralling into all the “what if” scenarios, I challenged the narrative I was creating. What if nothing has gone wrong? What if this is just part of the process? The brain has a funny way of creating drama, and sometimes we need to step back and ask, Is this story even true?

3. I allowed myself space to feel it.
   Rather than trying to “fix” my off day by jumping into action or rushing to make it better, I let myself take a step back. There’s power in not trying to immediately reframe things or push through discomfort. Sometimes, just letting the feelings exist for a while without judgement is enough.

4. I reconnected to my purpose.
   In the quiet, I reminded myself why I do the work I do. What drew me to coaching in the first place. What drives me to show up every day, even when I’m feeling uncertain. This helped bring me back to centre, helping me remember that my worth isn’t tied to how perfectly I perform.

5. I gave myself permission to be imperfect.
   Off days don’t always require a grand recovery. Sometimes the most powerful thing is to give yourself permission to not be at your best. And to recognise that, when you’re being true to yourself, that’s often enough.

The Real Work

In leadership, we often measure ourselves by how well we perform. It’s tempting to think that we’re only valuable if we’re always on our A-game, always polished, always “delivering” at our best.

And yet, performance isn’t the whole story. In fact, it’s often in the moments when we don’t perform perfectly - when we show up as ourselves, flaws and all - that true leadership happens.

We often forget that being yourself is the strongest thing you can offer. And that includes on those off days. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to have everything together. You just have to show up as you are.

Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.
Off days included.